It’s all in the jeans

Warning: girly content. If you are a bloke, look away now.

Every woman has a favourite pair of jeans, right? They are the faithful clothing friend that you can rely on to always make you feel great and look good. Or just to be damned comfy. Or, indeed, all three. You can pull them on without thinking whether or not they will fit/look good/match whatever is going on your top half. As long as they are clean, of course.

And then, one day, a tragedy occurs. They break. Irreparably.

This happened to me a week ago. I had a pair of jeans from H&M that I LOVED. They fit me well, looked cool, were incredibly comfy and did wonders for my backside/hip area. I think I probably wore them almost constantly for 2 years. Due to their low waist, I was also able to wear them during my last pregnancy until around the 6th month, when my girth finally necessitated maternity jeans. You cannot imagine my joy at finding I could fit back into my good ol’ pair of jeans a few weeks after Tom’s birth (although I must admit that this is probably more due to the amount I stretched them through continuous wear than any amazing, model-like postpartum shrinking on my part).

Last Monday, while in the usual oh-my-god-we-only-have-20-minutes-to-get-ready-and-get-to-school!!! mayhem, I pulled my freshly washed jeans out of the laundry basket, heaved them upwards and heard, to my dismay, a loud ripping sound coming from the back left-hand side. Nonononononononono!!! A quick inspection found that the fabric between the back pocket and the central seam had finally become so worn that it simply gave way, creating a massive, awkwardly-placed and irreparable hole. Damn.

This means that for the past week I have had to wear my Fat Day jeans, which are totally unflattering and normally only worn in the depths of a Fat Day depression. This means I have had a week of feeling utterly unattractive. It is fatuous and silly, I know, but if I don’t look well put together and appropriately dressed, I feel bad. I feel depressed. It is something that has plagued me since childhood (as my long-suffering parents and, now, husband can attest). Unless I have been clever and laid out my outfit for the next day before going to bed, wardrobes may be divested of all their contents in a search for the right top/jumper/cardigan/trousers/skirt; several complete changes of outfit may be pulled on and then discarded; once the clothing has been sorted out and approved (by me), I may then try on several different pairs of shoes before I am satisfied that I am appropriately attired and shod. This knowledge makes me feel calm and able to face what the day may throw at me (which, when I am at work, can be just about anything…).Yes, I am fully aware of how ridiculous this sounds. There are many, many more important things to worry about in this life than how one looks (the seriously depleted state of our bank accounts, for one…). What can I say? It is a foible.

This rigmarole does not happen every day, I hasten to point out. I am not (yet) a complete basket case, and this has mainly been thanks to my wonderful, newly departed jeans.

So, The Great Jeans Hunt of 2013/2014 is on! My local H&M has decided that no-one over a size 38 wishes to purchase clothing of any kind at their store, so I fear I will have to make an expedition downtown and trawl through every High Street purveyor of denim until I find another miracle pair of jeans. Ugh. As the Christmas Markets are now up and the teeming hordes have now descended upon downtown Hamburg, this thought does not fill me with joy.

Does anyone have any suggestions where to start? Where did you purchase your favourite jeans? What is your preferred style of jeans? Are there any online shops that you recommend? I would love to hear your suggestions!


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